Why I changed my name: Rebranding Life.
1st year of being a Kennedy North, committing to artistic heritage
We live in an era of identity crisis. We search to find our tribe, our sense of belonging. A community we fit within that gives us support and purpose. That search is often provoked from displacement at an impressionable age, certainly in my case.
My given birth name was David Petts. I built a fairly successful career under that name whilst I was conducting myself within the London film industry and as an adventure filmmaker. And although I accept a name is merely a label given to us by our parents it doesn't actually fundamentally mean anything, or speak true to the identity within ourselves. The label I was given didn't sit right with me in my adult life.
My parents divorced around the age of 15, during my last years in secondary school. My family dispersed and I was left looking inward with no one to guide me. Moving in with my mum from our family home to an isolated village, there she said the very thing that would plant this seed of change for years to come. She was going through the process of changing her name from Petts back to her maiden name after the divorce. She said to me “why don’t you do the same? Change your name to North too.” I think it was meant as a passing comment. I don't think she realised at the time the turmoil that would create in the future.
I went through my creative life with that little voice always there and never acted upon it out of fear of rejection from having to tell my father I wanted to change my name. I always felt like a North and in fact my artistic heritage comes from that name. My mother is a painter and an art teacher. Her father, my grandad Roger, was a photographer and loved to make things with his hands. His father, Stanley Kennedy North pioneered the technology used to restore old master paintings, which he did at home in his bathroom. My grandad recounted the stories of there being Constable paintings in his bathtub. Beyond Stanley there is a rich heritage of creatives, especially one famous Scottish poet and bard in the 18th century. The North side of the family guided my creativity and offered me support as I moved through life. My uncle who I mentioned in my previous writing began to give me work within motorsport and that's where it all started.
Around 2021/2022 I experienced an ego death. I was trying to make a film that would lift the sport of climbing competition in the UK beyond its current remit. I pushed and found myself between two parties at war. This was between the governing body and the athletes themselves. Both I had worked with for a number of years, 7 in fact, and on both sides I had some very good friends. The result was I ended up getting put in the middle of the firing line and I got caught from both sides. Losing a number of friends and losing a client that had been a prosperous relationship up until that point. I stuck to my guns and still managed to get the film made despite budget being slashed, despite prior agreements, a really shitty feeling to experience and subsequently being disregarded by a community that I only had my best intentions to lift. I essentially made that film at a loss financially, spiritually and emotionally. I found a beautiful story despite all of the negative energy surrounding the project. It still got into multiple film festivals but with that film I knew it was the last thing I would do in the UK climbing scene for a while.
After the fatigue and experience of that film. I went into a period of deep reflection. It's funny the lessons we can learn about ourselves and I realised that I heavily identify and define myself through work. I care an awful lot about people and invest in them heavily, even if that is not reciprocated. I give projects my everything, probably too much sometimes and often to my detriment. I asked myself the question “Why do I do these things to myself? Why do I have to care so much? And it comes back to that sense of belonging and displacement I experienced being young. Always the outcast is what I told myself, searching to fit in despite rejection from others. It's there I realised that if i was going to evolve as a person I was going to have to do an awful amount of letting go.
At the same time when this project was happening, which most people wouldn't realise, my dad had his first set of severe strokes. His health has been declining since 2010 after his quadruple heart bypass surgery due to his diabetes accelerating. It came as a shock as he was hospitalised for around 3 weeks. His close encounter with death made me realise an awful lot. Most profoundly, the fear of things we never do for the opinion of others. It was around that time and the months that followed that I started letting go of the things that held me back. It probably took me around 2 years to slowly move through this pain and I am very grateful to my fiance Grace who really nurtured me and gently helped navigate this emotionally challenging time. I decided to have a conversation with my dad about changing my name and how I had always felt about being a Petts. Through many buddhist retreats together we also spoke about his death, his health, how I will grieve for him and the impact that had had on our relationship emotionally and psychologically. It was a profound moment to experience and after that I wrote him a letter to tell him I was changing my name.
The day before my 34th Birthday, my best friend came to visit and there we went and filed the paperwork for my name to be changed. From that process to now I have been slowly shedding my skin of the past and walking into life with the full force of my heritage backing my creative decisions. I feel now that I am who I am supposed to be and the direction and purposeful aim is becoming clearer and clearer. To aspire to live the artist's life and communicate deeply and honestly through the expression available to me. Be that film, photography, writing, poetry or music. I have entered the phase in my life of unapologetic expression and I won't be looking back anytime soon.
