The stereotype goes “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” . There is truth in this statement but to succeed at anything, payment is required. My experience working in the mountains taught me very quickly that if you are willing to go that extra mile, climb that little bit higher, endure, you will be rewarded but don't be fooled! It requires sacrifice.

Often with glamour we fail to recognise the toll we must pay in order to create and to maintain our creative autonomy. Many sleepless nights before shoots, the constant overthinking, financial stress, learning to silence the inner critique (or the interpreter as I like to call that niggling voice inside), crippling anxiety, missing important milestones within your family and friends lives, the comedowns after the experience, the list could in fact go on and on but the major one is being “misunderstood”.

Over the years I have learnt how to deal with some of these things but admittedly I am still learning and sometimes I come up short, especially when dealing with my own inner demons. That sensitivity we have as artists is our biggest strength in this world but if mishandled can be our undoing. I found through diet, meditation and expression are the best methods to stay on the path without veering too wildly into the fantastical depths of the mind. It helps to recognise that your creative expression can have many forms, it's never solely tied to one mode. For me playing guitar is when I attain my ultimate flowstate (aside from when filming), my thoughts flow effortlessly onto the fretboard, the technicality has been forgotten and the honest emotion pours out from my fingertips as they dance around the fretboard. I experience that flow state when I run, climb and occasionally when I meditate. Writing is the new pathway I am attempting to cultivate. So as you can see your expression can take many forms, So don't restrict yourself to thinking you are just one thing. You are a complex multidimensional creative.

To be creative you have to have a unique way of looking at the world around you. From an early age my dad used to say “he’s away with the fairies” or “He’s too busy looking at the butterflies, pay attention!”. Little did I (he) know that I found an inherent beauty through these observations, which over time would become apparent, that from a very young age I was refining my awareness and observation skills to spot nuances and detail. Be that in body language, communication or how the light interacts with the landscape or objects.

I was gifted with a mysterious yet absent role model in my life. I remember the first time I looked through a viewfinder. It was my Grandad's camera, a canon AE-1 around the age of 6. He died when I was around that time quite suddenly and years later I was gifted his gear. I still use that camera and often his lenses to this day. My mum is a painter, she taught me the values of colour and composition from being a small child. We would paint together and she would guide me through that process. The office space in our family home was small yet crammed with painting materials, multiple brush pots, the murky water where she would clean her brushes , a wooden creaky easel and a bookcase full of art books, I can still remember the smell and the thick acrylic stains on my mums overalls. Often spying on her to catch a glimpse of her latest work.

I was guided intermittently through my young life with my artistic ventures. Because I suffered quite badly with Dyslexia I wasn’t particularly academic, a story I would later in life totally abandon and suffer to prove something to myself. Subjects in school that captivated me were Art, Drama, Graphic Design and Business studies. The shift occurred when I enrolled in college, we had to pick 6 A/S levels and we somehow persuaded the college that I should be able to enlist in as many art based A levels as possible. Picking my final option to an oversubscribed photography class, for the first year I would have to attend evening classes. My teachers Chris, Andy and Liz were patient, forgiving and understanding in those early days. When our first year results came in, I had a very disturbing reality check. Failing almost all of my options apart from photography, achieving my highest grade of D. Panic stations and back and forth conversations with my divorced parents co-ordinating simultaneous remote parenting tactics to kick my arse into gear. I realised very quickly after this moment that If i continued with my attitude, I would not achieve much and my school career advisor may be correct after all. A job with the council as a bin man might be my only option.

My second year of study began and this would be a crucial time. Many life changes happened around this time. The biggest one being passing my motorcycle test and meeting an influential figure whose life experience allowed me to see beyond my own limitations and inspired me to try. I lost him to a very tragic and fast death but his memory and wisdom has stayed with me to this day. I worked harder and I expanded my horizons. Eventually turning my low D score in photography into a year of perfect marks, the exam was flawless and had to be invigilated three times. Landed my final grade 2 marks from an A. It was quite the conversion and a testament to my teachers and new found drive. University was a big motivator around this time. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go and attended only one interview. This was at the University of Gloucestershire in Cheltenham. The building was the old Cheltenham college of art building. I decided to attend the interview on my own, stopping at my uncle's house in Beaconsfield, which was halfway between my hometown Colchester and my destination. 

That night we had a conversation that changed my life…

I arrived with my prints rolled up in a cardboard tube poking out of my packback with my A3 sketchbooks inside showcasing some of my best work, and parked my Motorbike at the back of his house. My creaky bike boots cut through the ambient sounds of the chirping wildlife. Luckily for me it didn't rain so I turned up only a little cold. I shed my heavy layers of leather and my Uncle welcomed me into his home with a warm embrace.

My Uncle Simon has always been in my life, even to this day but back then I always found him a bit of an enigma. He was mysterious to me. He was absent in some ways but my Mum always spoke highly of him. He worked in Motorsport and had his own PR company, this meant he travelled a lot, especially when I was younger but he carried himself I always felt with purpose and with pride. I respected my uncle even if I wasn't sure why. This was the lesson that taught me I can always trust his council.

We sat down at the dinner table together, we ate and after dessert we sat down on the sofa and to this day I will never forget what he said. He detected my uncertainty about going to university, I hadn't figured out my “why” just yet but clearly he could see something in me that I was too naive to harness.  

He said “David it's fine if you don't know what to do with your life just yet, you will figure it out but this is an opportunity for you to do something different with your life. University is a great experience, you will meet people from all over the world and make good friends. It will push you and challenge you in an environment that is supportive. What else are you going to do? Work with your brother? (I had been doing this just to earn a bit of cash being a labourer and by no means was he being detrimental to him) Are you going to stay in Colchester your whole life? And never have the courage to put yourself out there. I love your mum but both of your parents have played it safe and what for? If you don’t do this, you will kick yourself later in life, trust me! Now is the time to take the opportunity and make a life for yourself”

The next morning I rode the rest of the way on my Kawasaki Ninja (600) to Cheltenham. I was only 17 at the time. It was early late February as I was riding along the M40 and into Oxfordshire. Motorcycling has always given me an innate sense of freedom and on this particular day my senses were heightened. Feeling the air rush by me the landscape changing from the flatness of Essex into the rolling hills. I rode through the bends of the A40 smiling, feeling free and unburdened, taking steps towards making a future for myself. After a lot of twisty bends, overtakes and speeding I arrived at the University campus, Pitville studios. I arrived earlier than expected…I wonder how that happened. I spoke to the receptionist so they could let the senior member of staff know that I had arrived and they could conduct my interview when they were ready.

I remember sitting there fully cladded in my bike leathers, squeaky boots still creaking, my bag at my side and my tube of portfolio prints still inside. I observed the tension in the room. Other young people around me were waiting for their interviews with their parents, one girl crying out of the sheer nerves. Another young lad with his dad, sat in awkward silence as they waited. And there I was totally alone but feeling calm, I wanted to do this on my own and make my own decisions.

After some time a lecturer arrived to take me to the interview room. Richard Salkeld was his name, he taught art theory and history on the painting course. He opened the door which is where I would meet my first mentor on my creative journey, Richard Billingham. We are still friends to this day.

I sat down and for the next 45 minutes we just chatted. Richard was more interested in my motorbike than my work. We spoke for ages about bikes, he shared some memories of bikes he had and that's where our connection started. He looked through my sketch books and liked the selection of prints I had brought with me. The whole time we were together was easy. My interview just felt like catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. When it ended I asked him if he wouldn't mind giving me a quick tour of the facilities. I had not attended an open day and he just smiled at me as if to say “for real?”. Me having no idea about his prowess in the photographic community as the first photographer to ever be nominated for a turner prize, something my photography lecturers back at college would later have a meltdown about when I told them who I had my interview with. Richard showed me around the studios, the darkroom,  the colour darkroom and we continued to talk. Eventually he had to end the tour as he had to get back to another class, we shook hands and I said thank you but before he would go, he wanted to come and have a look at my bike.

This was the only visit to a university and interview I had. I had made up my mind that I was going. It was the highest ranked place I could get into with my predicted grades and it was far enough away from my hometown. It was a goal I wanted to achieve. So I worked and then I worked even harder. I revised like crazy for all my subjects and dedicated real time to making sure I could get out of town and the life I had known. Once all of our exams were complete for A - Levels there was a window of time around 5 weeks from marking to getting grades mid august. It was always a time of mass anxiety for people graduating college. I spent a lot of that summer riding and grieving for a lost friend. I worked in a buddhist shop to earn some money on the side and pay for my fuel, so I was fairly busy. I remember being away in Turkey with my girlfriend's family, it was a last minute thing and they asked if I would like to join so we could get away for a bit ahead of our return to which we would receive our results. Three days before returning home I had an email from Richard Billingham congratulating me and that he was looking forward to seeing me again in September. The university had given me an “Unconditional Offer” Irrespective of my grades. I couldn't believe it. I had done what none of my siblings had achieved, or even my dad. I was going to University to study Fine Art Photography in Cheltenham. From having struggled for years with the academic public school route to this, the feeling even now gives me a buzz. I phoned my parents and let them know about the good news. I also messaged my uncle to say thank you for his words of wisdom. 

When I received my A-Level results, although they had no consequence to me anymore. I had pulled everything up from the depths to receive 3 B’s and 2 C’s. Just enough to get into the university on points. 

Later when my relationship developed with Richard over the course of being at University, during the second year we would spend most Thursdays at the Wetherspoons in Cheltenham to partake in  “curry and a pint” night. It was the best deal of the week, a beer of your choice and a curry for £5.99. We would talk for hours sometimes until closing, or sometimes just shy. We would speak about motorbikes, our current projects and our favourite topic was old movies. Richard has a plethora of knowledge on so many subjects but his love of film is something unmatched. Eventually the other lecturer Tony Clancy, who again became a mentor figure to me, would start joining our weekly pub meetings. I owe so much to both of them. They had a lot of patience for me, alot of time and their guidance was always from a pure place. I still speak with both of them today and still consider them my mentors despite graduating in 2011. I asked Richard on one of our pub nights if he remembered my interview with him, what he said struck me and always stayed with me.

“ I remember your interview really clearly. You were different from the other applicants. You were confident and showed me character. I knew then and there that I was going to give you a place here. You unrolled thost A2 black and white prints on the table and they were tatty but the photography was good but it was the fact they were hand printed made you stand out. The work wasn't cohesive at all but I could tell you had talent. (He giggles to himself at this moment unsure of if he can say what is about to come out). I also wanted to save you from a hard life on the streets. After our interview I thought I can save this lad from a hard life on the streets selling drugs or being in a biker gang. He’s a risk and it could backfire on me with the University higher ups but I wanted to take the chance”

We still joke about this to this very day and that time still brings a huge smile to my face. I am so grateful to the mentors in my life that have helped me along with my creative journey. They are often the most important figures in our lives that we don't acknowledge enough. Their willingness to impart wisdom and take the time to cultivate your creativity without a transactional component means it is of pure intention. They help you grow in ways that you cannot fully see. They recognise potential in you that is beyond your comprehension. You are standing there looking out into the world past them, wondering where you will be in the future. Their gaze is fixed on you with all of that worldly experience and knowledge already behind them. It's a really wonderful relationship, very special and they subconsciously guide you. I will continue to write about these figures in my creative life as I have been blessed to have other mentor figures enter my life. But I feel like this is a good point to leave this thread.

Thank you for reading this far and I hope you continue to engage with my writing.